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Sunday’s Jokes 2021-08-08

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Some say laughter is the best medicine, so, on Sundays, we post some jokes to hopefully brighten your day. – Editorial Team

 

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please 
send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local 
women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with
 several dozen lesson & music books.

Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. 
"Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look at you... let me hold you! 
Let's have a fine dinner out, then  make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so 
much !"

The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear 
you play that harmonica." 


I can't help but wonder sometimes though why lovemaking is almost
always referred to in theatrical terms. For example, surely you've
heard men refer to their "performance". Well, even these days I don't
have a lot of trouble with that.
   
But... since I'm now past fifty, the "encores" are getting tuffer and tuffer.


A secretary, who works in an office with my daughter's friend, 
Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice 
girls couldn't stay together considering they are sisters and all. 
There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they 
weren't sisters. She said, " Of course they are, they have the 
same last name." She Has unofficially been named "Dumb 
Spice"


Dictionary of Musical Terms

JAZZ        :  Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.
BLUES       :  Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
WORLD MUSIC :  A dozen different types of percussion all going at once.
OPERA       :  People singing when they should be talking.
RAP         :  People talking when they should be singing.
CLASSICAL   :  Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.
FOLK        :  Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.
BIG BAND    :  20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.
HEAVY METAL :  Codpiece and chaps
HOUSE MUSIC :  OK as long as it's not the house next door.


A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of
a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he
starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a
grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven,
1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth
Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he
leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with
him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has
changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the
previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.  When
they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing,
again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are
being played in the reverse order in which they were
composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has
gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the
Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.
Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for
the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's
just decomposing!"


Source: Jokes2Go

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